All of this makes as much sense as that the earth sits on the back of a giant turtle or elephant.

My son was born in Bahrain and grew up there. When he was about 11 years old we were in a church in the South of France and he said to my wife and me, "Why is there a picture of a lady in an abaya on the wall of this church?'

We decided that we needed to get him back to the West so sent him to boarding school at Fettes in Edinburgh.

Afte a couple of religious studies classes he calls us up and says, "Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Who are these guys anyway? Does anybody know anything about them?"