As promised:

A Trick that everyone abhors,

Is Mrs. Fidget making ‘smores.

A wealthy merchant’s useful wife

Whose family gibbed and fussed and whined,

And lived in Newcastle under Lyme,

As Mrs. Fidget cooked and took the time

To mend their socks and fix their clocks.

She was not really bad at heart,

And one fine morning with a start

She passed away before she even baked a tart.

It’s true, her family were not upset,

She’d finished sewing all their vests.

Her funeral sermon (which was long

And followed by a sacred song)

Mentioned her virtues one by one,

Then home they went to have some fun.

Thanks, and a tip of the hat to Hillaire Belloc including the few plagiarized bits.