I'd like to throw in my two cents here. First off, every recently divorced woman is entitled to one free shag in order to get back in the game, make herself feel good and desirable and Tinder is potentially a good place to sort that out, however, it's clear from what you said about yourself that you are either bourgeois or haute bourgeois what with the Ivy League connections et al and this guy is what the British call 'a bit of rough'. That means that the power in the relationship should have been with you from the first meeting and you needed to assert that and you should have limited your expectations of this guy to getting a few decent or half decent shags off of him and then dropping him and moving on. I understand that we all at one time or another project ourselves into our own past experiences and try to rescript them. It's a mistake. And it impeded your ability to assert the power that you clearly should have had in this relationship from the outset. In the end you ended up getting booty calls with no booty, so a complete waste of your time and emotion. I would suggest that the response to this experience should be to learn how to define to yourself more clearly what you want and then to be assertive in that regard. You are under no obligation to be jerked around for someone who is neither a friend and who provides no benefits!