It strikes me that part of the problem is cultural. What you are describing are patterns in the US. Dating in the US tends to be transactional. It's often like a job interview. That is dehumanizing, boring, and can be emotionally draining.

In the UK, based on my experience dating is a lot more fun. You meet, drink copious amounts of alcohol and see if you have any banter. The idea is to entertain one another with wit and convo. If that all works out it will usually lead to a shag and both parties are happy.

I've used Tinder only four times and three of the dates were great, but they were all in London. I had one date in Colombo, Sri Lanka that I should have known wouldn't go anywhere when she asked that we meet a McDonald's, although in that context it is considered a high-end restaurant!