My only first cousin married a man who became a heroin addict. The lengths to which he would go to rip off my cousin and her father (my uncle) were quite extraordinary. Fortunately, for her, he died of an overdose otherwise there seemed to be no way out of the situation. You have my deepest sympathy for what you went through and what you are still going through and will continue to go through. It is a form of PTSD so be gentle on yourself and do not internalize any blame.