When I was a student the college chaplain made a speech to us at the beginning of our first term advising us that Oxford had a lot of tramps begging and if we felt compelled to help them, we should give them food and not money as they would only spend it on drink.

I was walking up St. Giles one day where a well-known tramp we called Karl Marx, because of his long salt and pepper hair and beard was begging.

Another student stopped, went into a shop, bought a sandwich and gave it to Karl Marx. The student then proceeded up the street with an air of righteous charity emanating from him.

Karl Marx stared at the sandwich in his hand as if it was poison and stamping his feet, swore, "I didn't want a fucking sandwich, I wanted a fucking shilling"!

I cracked up laughing.